Mary McMullen 2011 Gift Guide

Hello my babies! If you are like me & don't live near your family - you are not around day in & out to hear them say subtle things like "there are no good pot-holders in this house!" or "buy me a damn watch". So, I am here to post things that might  help you be inspired to give. This list leans towards adults (think: friends, aunts, cousins, parents, babysitters, teachers, siblings). The thing with kids is that usually if you ask them what they want, they will tell you. Adults always say "I don't need anything"- or you are too polite to say. And sometimes, as an adult, you don't even know what you want.


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Local Nature

This takes a little bit of thought, but for someone who you won't see- this is a fun/easy/cheap alternative. Go outside and find something local & mail it in a padded mailer to your loved one. Once my friends mom mailed her some orange blossom leaves from Arizona, my mother once mailed me some Cherries from our backyard tree. Or simply gather fall leaves, or melted snow in a tiny bottle. I know, its kinda weird, but trust me, it will make whoever gets it feel closer to you then they have in a long while.


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Book Hook Wooden Book Mark

Sleek, smart, and preserves your read. You can buy it here, for $50 + shipping (note: ships from Germany) or I am certain you could make it yourself quite simply. Get to home depot!


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Star Projector or Pinhole Planetarium

Dreamy. I can't imagine anyone not wanting this pinhole planetarium ($22). You have to build it yourself, but no big deal. For a fun design, try this 3-D option. ($40) If you'd like a little more accurate/fancy you can splurge on this one instead for the real astro-buff. $100


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Stamps

Useful or collectible. Encourages communication, they also last forever. I showcased the Maritime stamps- but they offer many more, everything from Edward Hopper for the art fan, to Indy 500 for the nascar fan.  $2-8 for packs.


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Cheese Making Kit

First of all, cheese is delicious. Part science project, part foodie gift. Mozzerella Kit. $18.50 from Amazon.com - I have also seen these on sale for cheaper at my local Harris Teeter in their speciality cheese case.


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Lego Architecture

Inspire an kid or help an adult fulfill a designing dream. I could see a man working on this while watching his nightly news. Lego Architecture Kits. $20-$199 depending on size and intricacy. Sears tower shown, $20. Other options include: Frank Lloyd Wright houses, Guggenheim Building, and more.


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Night Hike Compass

Could be practical. Could be used as a paper weight on a desk. Could be fun for a kid to play with. Glow in the Dark Compass. Found from American Science & Surplus, which has a ton of other fun items. $10 once shipped.


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LaLaLoopsy Dolls

Its a modern rag doll. It's cute & looks easy to clean. $30 average... $6 for a mini-$50 for a doll & accessories. A boy & a girl, a girly girl, You can buy pretty much anywhere in store too (target, walmart, toys r us, FAO).

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Two Bonus Gift Ideas:

Make or buy baked good- brownies, cookies, or a whole cake.

Give an addict their vice- a 12 pack of diet coke, a bulk pack of chapstick, scented candles, whatever they use often and in repetition. It's nice to not have to buy your normal loot.

All the Hallows that Eve

I really enjoy Halloween. I like to dress up.

The thing is that when I really think about it, Halloween is absurd. If there are aliens, I desperately hope they show up on Halloween, not knowing that it isn't just what we do. We don't dress in craziness, we don't send our children out to gather our food intake from other houses for variety. That's the magic of it all- it's so beyond what we would typically do, but it is so socially accepted. Even people who wouldn't dress up for a theme party, or wouldn't even dress up for a fancy party- will dress up on Halloween.

Not only is is just a bunch of silliness- its a pretty pointed theme. It is celebrating nothing. And don't get all Halloween-historic on me. No one really knows/really cares. It's a holiday for holidays sake. There is nothing to do but focus on the event itself. Even Valentines Day- which might be the most made up of them all, is celebrating love. Ok, I guess St. Patricks day isn't much of a holiday either- but there are no St. Patrick traditions- besides getting drunk. Halloween: you have a goal. You dress up. You get treats. You trick people.

A review- dressing up, treats, imagination, creativeness, magic, the occult, playing tricks, a singular focus, friends, fun, lolipops (literally), sunshine (hopefully), and rainbows (if you're lucky). [[See what I just did there, that was a throw-back to St. Patricks day and the Luck of the Irish]].

What's not to love? Let loose. Happy Halloween!

Here is a glimpse of my costume this year...

Any guesses what's happening here? Stay tuned...

We Still Get It- Outer Banks Vacation Report

This travelogue is dedicated to Petechat.blogspot.com - he asked for it, and we know that every one else kinda sorta really desperately wants to know what happened too. And if you were there, then we can safely assume you have a touch of narcissism. After all, we are the Mean Girls.


So this is a, cough, heavily edited, tell-all. 


The Car Ride Down


Me, Heather, Wayne & Joe piled into the family mini-van & pasted our stick figure stickers on the back window. The most important thing that came of the car convos was the outline of our upcoming summer escape-lit novella... A period piece set in Nauvoo. "Noble Heart: A Pioneer Pony-Tale. ©"  Should hit Deseret Book shelves by the new year.


We also discussed various terms of endearment. The winning nickname was "fruitsnack". That's right. "Babe" is out, "Fruitsnack" is in... "Hey Fruitsnack, lookin' good".  

Joe & his mustache + Wayne & Heather in the basket at Harris Teeter. 

The Next Three Days (also the title of a movie we watched; not worth it). 


It is almost just a blur of happiness. It happened and it was wonderful.


Wayne took it upon himself to dig a hole in the beach. Patricia and Michelle also were obedient to the task. The entire beach was wondering why? Why a hole? Why now?! The answer: "If we didn't dig it, who would?". 

I never said digging it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it. 

Sadly, the weekend wasn't with out incident or accident. Kathy and Mother Ocean got in a fight. Kathy didn't get wet, the ocean got Wallaced. She is a survivor; sadly a survivor with a broken neck. The good news is that did overshadow the accident that Kim was victim to: the glass table breaking when she was on it. Let me just say this about that- she was not dancing on the table. 

Joe cleaning up debris from Hurricane Kim 

To cope, Dave time traveled back to 1993. He was on the land line phone, trying to decide what VHS to watch. I won't even mention Gorky Park. Don't google it. Just don't. 

Dave circa 1993

Meanwhile, Nate decided that instead of digging a hole in the sand, he should build up the sand and fulfilled a lifelong dream of becoming King Triton, a merman. Ok, fine, it was my idea. Whatever. Proof it happened:

I still am in shock that this happened. And that I took a picture. And that I posted it publicly. 

Another source of distraction came from the jumbo straws we bought. $2.50 provided not only convenient drinking straws, allowing no need to raise your drink any higher than necessary, but they also offered a chance for Joe & Kyle to build a mega-straw and try to drink from a couple stories high. They failed. 

Nice try. 

All the while we were able to relax in the hot tub, which suspiciously had a built in strobe light feature. The tie-in there to the '93 time travel is still unclear. This year, instead of floating Nachos, Stephanie classed it up with floating Chocolate & Chilled grapes. At that point we thought we got it... but then Tuesday morning, thanks to Heather, we finally really did get it. We moved our chairs down to the water and let the tide roll in, giving us a kiss of the ocean ever few minutes. How did it take five days to figure that trick out? I will never know. 


Speaking of things that were unknown. Someone in our ward, on the trip, didn't know who Joe was. Lulz.


Overall, another successful outer banks trip. A huge thank you to the gal-pals Jenny and Kathy for planning it this year! I don't want to wait a whole year for it again. 


BEACH, PLZ! 


[Important Edits: 7:51pm, 9/8/2011]


Edit 1. Early reports are that they did indeed succeed with the multi-story-straw. I doubt it, but I did do the splits one night at 2am, in the midst of many nay-sayers, so with that, I will say anything is possible. 


Edit 2. Also, on the ride down JoeJohn twice exited the vehicle, while in motion, to remove debris. The first time I thought he was just done with us and leaving. But no, he was saving the trip

Hurricane Irene

The flame of hate I have for the Media still burns bright. In the aftermath of Hurricane Irene, that flame has now lit a field of viewers on fire too. The news today is all about how the storm was over hyped. There was a poll in my local paper asking if it “met expectations”. WTF; expectations? Wrong word choice. I didn’t have expectations, I had information, subsequent fears, and prepared accordingly.

They are devastated there isn’t more devastation. Disappointed that the East Coast wasn’t swallowed up by the Altantic, people are laughing, jeering, and forgetting…

PEOPLE DIED.

I am sickened by survivors running amuck making fun of the “non-hurricane”. They are just as blind as those who were fear-mongering beforehand (incidentally, the cross over between the two groups has got to be high- more on that later).

At least 21 people died. MILLIONS went without power. Thousands are stranded by floods. There is 10B worth of estimated damage (the B stands for billion).

Thankfully, as I sit here eating my emergency-cheesecake I bought (just in case things got real bad), I have power. A tree didn’t cause my house to crumble on top of me. Flood waters aren’t outside my front door ready to sweep me or my car away. Others can't be as thankful. As a nation, we were more prepared this time then we were for Katrina. Thankfully people bought provisions beforehand, headed evacuation orders, hunkered down. Thankfully the storm was down-graded and wasn’t a Cat 3 the entire time it was over land.

Those people who bought into the hype and thus induced hysteria; those who were fighting people at the store to secure their 13th case of water, those who were prophesying that entire cities would be wiped out. Those people feel silly. Those people are now making fun of what wasn’t. Those people are now just as bad as the media who sent them to the stores in frenzy in the first place. Those who weren’t freaking out beforehand, but were appropriately preparing by gathering emergency supplies without sending alarmist shock waves through their circles, are not upset: glad they had water & food for the weekend and didn’t have to risk going outside.

Irene could have been far worse. She unfortunately brought death and devastation. Let’s be thankful that we were prepared as best we could be and that next time we will have lived through this (some didn’t) and that we will know more of what to expect.


UPDATE: someone sent me this link. A visual representation of what we went through.

http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/08/hurricane-irene/100138/

[This photo comes from the NASA website, unaltered, to show you the size of storm we encountered. You know, the one people keep dismissing.]

I've Been Poisoned...

...by oak.

I noticed a weird set of hives on the top of my hand Sunday, but wasn't alarmed. Monday they were still there. Tuesday they were throwing a party. I went to the pharmacist who told me to get some benadryl spray. I did. Tonight (thursday) the "rash" was showing no signs of retreat.

Convinced I was a leper, I called home. Dr. Mom didn't seem alarmed. I finally had to email a picture of the situation, only to find out from my woodland father that I have POISON OAK.

omg. freak out. not me.

I will spare you all photos. Just know it's not contagious.

I had to do something drastic, so I immediately went online and bought a dress... then I used my wits and attacked the rash with some lactic/salicylic gel and a vitamin C/peptide resurfacing crystal regimen, if it is gone by morning I will be marketing that peel to wealthy hunters as there is no cure for poison oak; it takes up to two weeks to heal. TWO WEEKS.

Redbox

I distinctly remember the last time I was truly embarrassed. I was in the 5th grade. Sure, embarrassing things happen to me, but the emotion of embarrassment is something I just don't experience. I am not even sure I can really empathize with those who get embarrassed; for it has been far too long since I felt it. I find this a blessing. Sometimes it's a curse.

I don't have a functional DVD player and I haven't for a few years now. I do rent Redbox rentals for my students at work though. Tonight, I saw a charge from Redbox for not returning a rental, so I called them to find out what it was. I was prepared for it to be something a 15 year old would want to watch. What I got was so much more.

Redbox Agent: "Thanks for calling Redbox, this is Jaylen, how may I help you?" (ok, right there, I know this guy can't be more then 22 years old. His name is Jaylen for goodness sakes. And he just sounded youthful.)

Me: "I need to know what movie wasn't returned on my account?" I then have to deliver a lot of information. I don't sound 15.

Jaylen looks it up. Jaylen chuckles! Audibly laughs. Through the giggles, says "Ma'am, it was Justin Beieber Never Say Never"

Me: "Don't judge me" (about to explain it was for a middle school after school program)

Jaylen: "It's ok, no judgments here, my girlfriend made me watch it, its not bad." Another fit of laughter!

Me: "No, I have an after school program for middle school students... (at this point I realize I sound like I am lying) never mind, just know that I don't have any cats."

Jaylen: (can't stop giggling)

Me: "NO CATS!" and I hang up.

*If only Jaylen only knew that this is the second time I have blogged about Justin Beieber.

Two Lists: Summer and Summer

Summer 2011: Two Lists, One Summer.

List #1- What I am declaring as the next big thing and What's OUT/dead/boring me

• Home made Popsicles v. home made ice cream

• Designer Jello Desserts (not kidding) v. Cupcakes

• Twitter v. Face book (WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?)

• All sorts of weird and wonderful co-ops v. uninspirational farmers Markets

• Enjoying the movies v. thought-provoking, deep movies

• Casual Parisian Cafes (preferably with outside tables & exceptional service) v. Food trucks

And a bonus list tonight, because we are taking to the beach this Friday...

List #2: Beach Bag Essentials!

• Sunscreen, duh.
• Aloe lotion, duh.
• Blistex Medicated, duh.
• Flip flops.
• Extra pair of sunglasses.
• Portable ipod speakers. Some people like to read. I like to jam out.
• Quarters (about $10 worth). Either to pay for the sno-cone or the parking meter. Beach culture is a cash culture.
• Baby wipes. They are great to wash the salt water & sand mixture right off. Or the sticky Popsicle residue (see list #1).
• Plastic bags. Great to have for wet suits, sea shell collections, trash, or to protect your phone from the sand & waves.

It's a bad year to be a bad guy...

2011 has been a bad year to be a bad guy. A sampling/warning:

Bosnia genocide suspect Ratko Mladic arrested in Serbia

Rwandan genocide mastermind captured in DRC

Former Hutu militia leader Bernard Munyagishari, wanted on charges of crimes against humanity, arrested after 17 years

Federal authorities arrested over 100 organized crime suspects in the northeastern U.S.,in one of the largest single-day operations against the mafia in history.

And of course, Osama Bin Laden Dead.

Who is going to link this to Kim Jong Il?

Camelot

There was a period of time in recent American history referred to as "Camelot". The charisma of the Kennedy family and the success of his Administration led to the nickname.

There was also a time in recent Single-Mormon-Crystal-City history that I like to refer to as The Camelot Years. Those years are now over. Solidified with the move of our ward house location.

It turns out I don't own that building on the Potomac River. "That's my building" I used to say. Sigh. It was never for my own.

And it wasn't just the building. Just like with the Kennedy years; it was the way things were, the people, the administration, the innocence. Now, I realize the past is typically intrinsically better. After all, I was younger then. It was when I was in my 20's for goodness sakes.

I will look back on The Camelot Years with great fondness. There was so much to love.

Jackie Kennedy remarked, "There’ll be great presidents again… but there’ll never be another Camelot." I echo her sentiments.

I almost didnt post this...

But I couldn't help myself...

See, what you have here is an art project our local youth created. They didn't have much time. They could only use what was given to them. We were asked to use recycled materials, and as teams build visual representations of the restoration of our Church. That is right. It is now what you think you are looking at. The Heavenly Father is the Quaker Oats Man and Jesus is the Raisin Bran Sun; both Spirits depicted on milk jugs. That is indeed Joseph Smith praying at the bottom and the green/brown mess is the Sacred Grove. Now... I know, I KNOW.

Let this serve as your formal announcement that I am going to be traveling to upstate NY this summer on a trip with these kids, as their leader. Quaker Oats Man save us all.

A good day to blog...

Today is a good day to blog. I have done all my chores (at least the ones I will ever do). I don't have any work looming over my head like a stupid rain-cloud. I have hours to kill, but the problemo (Espanol for "problem") is that I don't have anything to blog about. Which, when I think about it, I never really did have anything I NEED to blog about...

Today I will blog about a gift I got, one which I am using right now. About three years ago my friend Diana (who apparently also ran out of things to blog about; disheartening) asked me if I wanted to go on a weekend cabin trip to a place I love; Deep Creek Lake... with people I didn't love. I didn't love them because I hadn't met them yet. Diana ended up not going, but I still went.

Obama was running for President, The Yankees were still playing on their old field, and I was still in my 20's. On that trip I met some extraordinary people who I became long-time friends with. Shout out to Jen Brooks, whose bridal shower I just went to and to Will Perry (it could have been great with us, but Mary Perry rhymes, and would never work).

The trip was filled with rustling trees, fall leaves, bright skies, a good food. One night someone made something delicious and I later emailed her for the recipe. In return she sent me a file of her roommates family annual recipe collection. I. use. it. all. the. time.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Now, it turns out there are names that are quite popular and commonplace in this religion. One surname being Christensen. Which, is the namesake of the file. I have no idea who these people are. I might not ever. But if you know Amy, Cammi, or Liz, Katie, or Alisa Christensen, go ahead and thank them for me.

By the by, if you want the recipe file, email me and I will email it to you. It includes such things as Peanutbutter Crumb Cake, Sweet Hawaiian Rolls, Tropical Coconut Chicken, Summer Squash Pesto Soup, and so many more. You're welcome Interwebz.

Spring- Missing Words

I hate spring; not the season itself; have something against the word "spring". It means a few things. Its obviously the season after Winter, before Summer. Which I love. So, then it is also a place where water flows naturally (typically after snow melt, during Springtime, thus the damn origin of that version of word). A spring is also a mechanical device that is usually a spiral that returns to it shape when released, or absorbs shock when pressed. You can also "spring" a leak, or people can "spring" out of something (jail or bed, whatever).

The problem here is we use this word for so many different things. It all started because this glorious beautiful season evokes growth, renewal, rains, warmer weather, flowers, lollipops, rainbows and sunshine. (If you aren't getting lollipops, you are doing it wrong).

And for that, I am excited.

[The picture feature isn't working right now. Imagine a lovely photo from last springtimes cherry blossom festival]

But it still troubles me that we can not figure out how to stop using this word. They all mean completely different things! Spring (the season) is the origin for all the other definitions of the word "spring" but come on, it's just crazy that we can't collectively be more creative here. And don't get me started on words that don't even exist. There are missing words in our language. At least people just started filling things in with the same word (spring). Some words just aren't.

Oscar-Mania, or maybe just mania

I have been meaning to blog like a thousand different things lately. And haven't. Which, is a good, right? It means I am busy... or lazy. Either way, a win for me.

The first thing we need to talk about is the Oscars. They are in a few short weeks (Feb. 27th, ABC)... I love the movies. I like all art really, but the movies are near the top of my list. Non-purposefully, I have seen all of the nominations for Best Film, albeit one (Black Swan, and I have no desire to see it, so probably won't). Not only have I seen most of the nominated films, but I am also quite opinionated.

So which is my pick for best pic? I have reasons... I have opinions... Lets go through each of the Nominations for Best Picture...

The crowd favorite is The Kings Speech. Which, granted is first-rate. It has a strong cast, an excellent triumph, and a lot of feel good fluff. This movie is that of summer-lit. Escapism. But of course to the pretentious audience doesn't feel that way, because after all it is a) European and b) historic. Don't get me wrong. I liked the movie. A lot. But it falls a little short. It stands on it's emotions a little bit too much. It doesn't go deep enough.

The other favorite is Inception, but for other reasons. It wasn't as acclaimed by the critics, but the movie-goers ate this movie up. It got everyone talking about it, something the rest of the movies failed to do. It was universally loved because it was good. It had all the elements we want and everything was done exceptionally well, except for the plot. It was complex, and filled with holes. I won't get into all of it (I could write a whole post about this. I won't.) I can not write this article in good faith with out asking you a few questions... Why does Fischer end up in Cobb's limbo? Cobb wasn't the architect or the host of the dream. Doesn't make sense. Also, if it really is Cobb who is in a dream and not awake (like Mal claims), then why is he using Mal's totem- which they explicitly tell us can only be calibrated to the owner. So her spinning top wouldn't really help Cobb. None of this movie makes any sense unless we are to believe that it's all in Mal's dream and they are trying to incept her (theoretically to wake up). But, they never do that in the movie. They do though try to incept Cobb to wake up though, multiple times. Ugh. Doesn't. Make. Sense. Should. Not. Win. That said, I really did like it and did think it was one of the best movies of the year, just not the best.

The Fighter might win. The Academy loves to award people who do physical transformations. If the actor can trick you into forgetting who they are in real life, The Academy thinks they have done a good job. (See: Charlize Theron in Monster). And the entire cast of The Fighter really did transform. Christian Bale over acted though. I don't care how much he was spot-on to the guy he plays in the movie. He over did it. If that man is really that annoying in real life, then they should have toned it down for the movie. The mom, played by Melissa Leo does deserve to win the Best Supporting Actress.

The Kids are All Right was all wrong. It was edgy, but it was also stupid. SPOILER ALERT: I don't know any adult who would act as selfishly as Julianne Moore did in this movie and have all the blame go to someone else; poor Mark Ruffulo. This movie shouldn't have even been nominated.

True Grit: I liked you, but I have a problem with a remake being nominated. You are a copy. You have been done. You have had your time in the sun. You were great the second go round. You were redone really well, but you can't win. You aren't new.

Social Network: The only reason it won the Golden Globe is because the Hollywood Foreign Press Association members are old and thought they were hip with the times exposing the Facebook guy. Anyone who grew up with technology gets it- no big deal here.

Toy Story 3: I wish this movie weren't a cartoon and I wish it wasn't part of a trilogy of cartoons. The story was brilliant. It was even angst-y enough that it had a shot at greatness. Whoever wrote this script should have put it in a different context.

Now, the movie that should win is Winters Bone. This movie had it all. A superb plot. Great cinematography. Impeccable acting. It was gripping. It exposed something that deserves our attention. It was real. It was not pretensions in any way. It was a good story told really well. It had the depth and the breadth that a winning movie should have. (If you don't know, it is about a teen girl who is tracking down her drug-dealing father through the Ozark mountains). It was a better movie than any of the other nominees. Nearly flawless.

My second favorite movie of the lot was 127 Hours. It was genius. I still can't wrap my mind around the story, and it was based off a true story. Gah. HE CUTS HIS OWN ARM OFF. I don't want to find out, but I'd like to think I am bad-ass enough to do that. But the fact that I really can't even fathom it, means I probably wouldn't be. It also made movie strides. It did what Cast Away couldn't do. It was a solo-performance that captivated me. It also was filmed in a limited amount of space and wasn't stifling at all. The director of this movie deserves a win, but he wasn't even nominated. James Franco was, and he deserves the win for Best Actor. He took this movie to a whole new level. I think this movie is a bit before it's time unfortunately. This movie will be used to teach film students for years though. Years, I tell you.

That's a wrap.

Official Moderate Reform Party* Political Response to the State of the Union, 2011

If you are joining me for the first time, this is what happens: I watch the State of the Union, and all the while, I will type my responses as it spills off the teleprompter into President Obama's mouth, and back out again as he feeds us regurgitated words (like baby-birds).

Things in BLUE are either quotes or paraphrases of President Obama. My reaction is immediately after in standard color.

.....

Obama enters. He is working that room like a politician in November. But it's not November- he must be worried.

"I want to start by congratulating the congress" - WHAT?! I want you to start by giving us an actual state of the union. Because you forgot to do that last time, stay focused.

"The challenges we face are bigger than politics. Jobs are more important than elections." Yes, especially when you are loosing, they are. Man, he really must be worried about his reelection.

"The stock market has come roaring back". Just because you say it, doesn't make it true.

"Challenges that have been decades in the making" Shifting blame.

Quoting a Kennedy (he called him Robert) Who calls Bobby, Robert?

Finally he is talking about his solutions, after telling us how Korea, China and Russia, and India are out smarting us. He claims to have a plan how to get us to be back on top. I have been waiting.

Encouraging innovation. "What we can do, what we do better, is spark imagination. Cars, computers, Edison, the Wright brothers, Google, Facebook. Innovation, it is how we make our living. Free enterprise." Yes, I agree. Who cares if we can spit out a math problem on a test, we invent things. McDonalds, the Internet, Flying, Cars, Coke, Microsoft, the list goes on. And why? I have said it before- we really are that lazy, if there is a better/faster/smarter way to do something, count on an American to figure it out.

OH NO, HE JUST BROUGHT UP THE MOON LANDING. On the moon landing, he said "the science wasn't there yet." interesting. it wasn't? huh, however did we do it then? oh, we didnt? ok.

"I will be sending a budget to invest in biomedical, communication, clean energy technology. an investment. promise of renewable energy. million electric vehicles by 2015. to pay for it: stop giving money to oil companies. new goal: by 2035 80% of US energy from clean energy sources." Steven Chu was writing down furiously, as if he had never heard this before. What is going on? Pull it together. Also, I thought the answer was FREE enterprise, but now its going back to tax reform. Ugh.

Talking about rebuilding America- attracting new businesses. High speed rail needs to be built. !?!?!?!?!? Really, that won't solve anything. Infrastructure. Dies. He just made fun of the FAA patdown. OMG. Stop making fun of it and start changing the policy. If our president thinks it's a joke, it is time to change it. Oh, and more tax reform.

Talking about why America is great, he says, "Its why we have safe air"- ZING china. But he didn't call out china specifically, he should have, he did earlier when talking about our competition and people doing things better than us.

More tax reform. Everything comes back to tax reform.

Debt- our government spends more than it takes in. That is not sustainable. We freeze annual domestic spending for the next five years. This freeze will require painful cuts. We have frozen the salary of hard working. You should have hit those not hard working instead. Don't send a message through these stunts anymore please.

Tip: Don't use airplane crash analogies, EVER, when addressing the U.S. people. I Cringe.

If a bill comes with earmarks, i will veto it. Jerk. Earmarks are how we trade in big-time politics. And it's how we allocate funds.

Iraq is mentioned- 58 min into it, and he talks about leaving. What about Afghanistan?

Oh here it is- Mentions Afgan.

North Korea: abandon nuclear weapons. Let us be clear: we stand with the people of Tunisina. Acknowledges troops, doesn't thank them. 61 min into it he is just now telling me THE STATE OF MY UNION.

"I don't know one person here who would trade places with any other nation on earth." AMEN OBAMA, AMEN!

Shout out to Joe Biden- Biden just fist pumped, lulz.

Obama just took credit for saving the miners. Like a true American. You're welcome Chile, by the way.

.....

Ok, overall, I would have loved to hear a shorter version of this on the campaign trail. Or at a town hall. Or anywhere else where I was NOT expecting to hear how our Nation is doing. He talked about the future too much. And it was inspiring.

Tax reform is happening, I know that much. What I don't know: where our jobs are? What we are doing to create them? What exactly are these tax reforms going to be? Guess: big business breaks will be over, thus, they wont be able to afford to hire all these innovators he is dreaming about.

Another thing we dont know about: Where exactly do we stand with National Security? The wars? The treats of wars? Where is America with regards to other developed countries in terms of the market? What is being done about it? Are we stable? And what is the Medical situation. It passed, now what? That's what the average American wants- timeline us.

Too many questions. No answers. One solution: taxes.

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*Moderate Reform Party? Yeah, it doesn't exist... yet. But, it's what I am. I am pretty moderate. An independent you might say? And you'd be wrong. The Independent Party is totally different. I am moderate. I lean right. I am a self-identified Republican, at the moment... but it's not a perfect fit. So, until my party is chartered, I will vote my conscience. I will be pro-choice, anti-drugs, pro-tax, anti-big government, pro-education, anti-obamacare, pro-capitalism, anti-capital punishment, and most important, I will judge the State of the Union Speech.

what really bugs me...

Happy new year... blah blah blah.

Ok, now that is out of the way, lets talk about some things. Some things that really REALLY bother me.

First, fake mustaches. This is something that I just don't get. There is this trend to have mustaches at parties and people (girls and boys) wear them. I have seen this at weddings, WEDDINGS. What is going on. I mean, it has caught on like wild fire and there is no brand that is making this happen. This trend is totally organic. This trend isn't being sold. There is no 'mustache' profit being made. Anyway, stop it. {Full disclosure, like a billion years ago I provided fake mustaches for my friends Fiesta themed birthday party. If I somehow started this whole mess, I should be able to stop it right?}

See, these beautiful girls look stupid. If you have done this, its ok, it's not your fault (I take the blame) but if you haven't: don't.

Moving on...

The saying "Over the moon". I hate it. I really really hate it. I know, why not let others be happy? Well, I will tell you why not, I hate it for the same reason I hate you when you say "wicked" when you aren't from Boston and the word "uber" when you are not from Germany. You also aren't from the 1700's. (High diddle diddle). It sounds so forced.

Can I just say after just finishing typing those two things I literally just sighed out of relief. I had to say them, and this is the most public format I could think of.

Now, no one likes a complainer, so lets talk about things I really REALLY have been loving recently...

The New York Times seems to still be completely free online. They reported last year that would start subscription based online content starting in January 2011. Well, that is now and I haven't been charged. Yay.

I also really liked Christmas. Here are some pictures... which I am not in, because I suppose its because I was taking them.

Yes, I did his awesome hairstyle.

Those crazy-eyes are too much. I still can't stop laughing.

Too adorable.

P.S. It's January, and you know what that means? I turn thirty this month. Which, I am excited about. Stay tuned.