Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Official Moderate Reform Party* Political Response to the State of the Union, 2011

If you are joining me for the first time, this is what happens: I watch the State of the Union, and all the while, I will type my responses as it spills off the teleprompter into President Obama's mouth, and back out again as he feeds us regurgitated words (like baby-birds).

Things in BLUE are either quotes or paraphrases of President Obama. My reaction is immediately after in standard color.

Obama enters. He is working that room like a politician in November. But it's not November- he must be worried.

"I want to start by congratulating the congress" - WHAT?! I want you to start by giving us an actual state of the union. Because you forgot to do that last time, stay focused.

"The challenges we face are bigger than politics. Jobs are more important than elections." Yes, especially when you are loosing, they are. Man, he really must be worried about his reelection.

"The stock market has come roaring back". Just because you say it, doesn't make it true.

"Challenges that have been decades in the making" Shifting blame.

Quoting a Kennedy (he called him Robert) Who calls Bobby, Robert?

Finally he is talking about his solutions, after telling us how Korea, China and Russia, and India are out smarting us. He claims to have a plan how to get us to be back on top. I have been waiting.

Encouraging innovation. "What we can do, what we do better, is spark imagination. Cars, computers, Edison, the Wright brothers, Google, Facebook. Innovation, it is how we make our living. Free enterprise." Yes, I agree. Who cares if we can spit out a math problem on a test, we invent things. McDonalds, the Internet, Flying, Cars, Coke, Microsoft, the list goes on. And why? I have said it before- we really are that lazy, if there is a better/faster/smarter way to do something, count on an American to figure it out.

OH NO, HE JUST BROUGHT UP THE MOON LANDING. On the moon landing, he said "the science wasn't there yet." interesting. it wasn't? huh, however did we do it then? oh, we didnt? ok.

"I will be sending a budget to invest in biomedical, communication, clean energy technology. an investment. promise of renewable energy. million electric vehicles by 2015. to pay for it: stop giving money to oil companies. new goal: by 2035 80% of US energy from clean energy sources." Steven Chu was writing down furiously, as if he had never heard this before. What is going on? Pull it together. Also, I thought the answer was FREE enterprise, but now its going back to tax reform. Ugh.

Talking about rebuilding America- attracting new businesses. High speed rail needs to be built. !?!?!?!?!? Really, that won't solve anything. Infrastructure. Dies. He just made fun of the FAA patdown. OMG. Stop making fun of it and start changing the policy. If our president thinks it's a joke, it is time to change it. Oh, and more tax reform.

Talking about why America is great, he says, "Its why we have safe air"- ZING china. But he didn't call out china specifically, he should have, he did earlier when talking about our competition and people doing things better than us.

More tax reform. Everything comes back to tax reform.

Debt- our government spends more than it takes in. That is not sustainable. We freeze annual domestic spending for the next five years. This freeze will require painful cuts. We have frozen the salary of hard working. You should have hit those not hard working instead. Don't send a message through these stunts anymore please.

Tip: Don't use airplane crash analogies, EVER, when addressing the U.S. people. I Cringe.

If a bill comes with earmarks, i will veto it. Jerk. Earmarks are how we trade in big-time politics. And it's how we allocate funds.

Iraq is mentioned- 58 min into it, and he talks about leaving. What about Afghanistan?

Oh here it is- Mentions Afgan.

North Korea: abandon nuclear weapons. Let us be clear: we stand with the people of Tunisina. Acknowledges troops, doesn't thank them. 61 min into it he is just now telling me THE STATE OF MY UNION.

"I don't know one person here who would trade places with any other nation on earth." AMEN OBAMA, AMEN!

Shout out to Joe Biden- Biden just fist pumped, lulz.

Obama just took credit for saving the miners. Like a true American. You're welcome Chile, by the way.


Ok, overall, I would have loved to hear a shorter version of this on the campaign trail. Or at a town hall. Or anywhere else where I was NOT expecting to hear how our Nation is doing. He talked about the future too much. And it was inspiring.

Tax reform is happening, I know that much. What I don't know: where our jobs are? What we are doing to create them? What exactly are these tax reforms going to be? Guess: big business breaks will be over, thus, they wont be able to afford to hire all these innovators he is dreaming about.

Another thing we dont know about: Where exactly do we stand with National Security? The wars? The treats of wars? Where is America with regards to other developed countries in terms of the market? What is being done about it? Are we stable? And what is the Medical situation. It passed, now what? That's what the average American wants- timeline us.

Too many questions. No answers. One solution: taxes.

*Moderate Reform Party? Yeah, it doesn't exist... yet. But, it's what I am. I am pretty moderate. An independent you might say? And you'd be wrong. The Independent Party is totally different. I am moderate. I lean right. I am a self-identified Republican, at the moment... but it's not a perfect fit. So, until my party is chartered, I will vote my conscience. I will be pro-choice, anti-drugs, pro-tax, anti-big government, pro-education, anti-obamacare, pro-capitalism, anti-capital punishment, and most important, I will judge the State of the Union Speech.


Jenny said...

I like this tradition, a lot. Well done Mary Mac.

Kaylyn said...

Have I mentioned lately how much I love you? Because I do. This was fabulous.

k wallace said...

from this day forward, i am quitting political speeches, and will instead wait for you to feed me ideas, like a mama bird.

Ben said...

The comments? Decent. The opening photo? Perfect.

Michelle said...

I've been looking forward to this...and you didn't let me down!

BTW: The pic at the top? Nice.

Millicent said...

Oh, how I miss you...

Well done, Mary. Well done.

Hil said...

Favorite part: OH NO, HE JUST BROUGHT UP THE MOON LANDING. On the moon landing, he said "the science wasn't there yet." interesting. it wasn't? huh, however did we do it then? oh, we didnt? ok.

Thank you for making my Monday better.