Monday, July 27, 2009

In Real Life is Real

Huddled around a computer, Joe introducing us to lolcats for the first time ever. 2007.

I already like this blog entry: dripping with irony. Maybe with a splash of hypocrisy.

It's high time to distinguish conversations and knowledge received "in real life" as opposed to all those textual relations, facebook flirts, and gchat chatters that we all too often take as being the same as "in real life".

I am not talking about people who have fake profiles or make up things online. That is another brand of crazy and I don't know those people.

Don't get me wrong; I love being plugged in and actually find it annoying/inconvenient when someone doesn't know how to chat online or can't text like a normal, sane person. Electronic communication is essential, not that hard to learn, and will profit you. I judge people who can not or will not adapt.

But, IMPORTANT NOTE: in real life is totally different than electronic communications. Learn the differences, accept the differences, act accordingly.

Online/texting is like a game of chess on speed (or worse yet, a checkers game, and sometimes just a game of Connect Four). The Sender sends info (in text, email, on a wall, etc) and then The Receiver gets to wait, plan out a response, edit knee jerk reactions, draft something, and THEN after all that happens, respond. Sometimes the responder even consults multiple human resources before proceeding (come on, you all do it; you show a friend the absurd text, you forward on an email for your BFF to look over, and facebook makes it real easy by allowing the sender to just post it publicly on your wall in the first place). Like a game of chess, it is competitive.You need to perfect your moves. You have the luxury of deciding what piece to play, what move to make, what words to say, what response to craft.

"In real life" is more like a makeout session. Both parties are engaged. There is no time to really strategize. It's a back and forth situation and it requires skill. You say things vocally as well as with your physical self. . In real life is more of an art form then anything. The faces I pull in real life say more then I could ever say with words. (Same with some faces I have while making out, haha). Think about the last time I was really happy, I probably didn't say anything to you, but you knew, you could see it in my eyes. It is uncut. It is real. And it is typically the whole picture.

Both forms of communication require a give/take. In real life both parties are continually actively involved, simultaneously. There are things about interpersonal communication that simply can not be qualified by verbage alone.

The bottom line is that in real life is far less safe. In real life is, well, real.

Scenario #1
Sally: "He said the L word to me yesterday... he said it, "I love you", finally! [squealing with joy]
Me: In real life? [Sally's face drops]
Sally : Well, he texted it to me it, he was all "yeah. lol. love you."
Me: Doesn't count [Some nice person like Mandy then has to pick up the pieces I left in my wake of devastating dose of reality and explain that it was just a typical salutation]

Scenario #2
Sally: He said the L word to me yesterday... he said it, "I love you", finally!"
Me: In real life? [Sally has a beaming smile]
Sally: [Shakes head in agreeance] Yep, we were joking around and I said something really funny/cute/charming and he was giggling and sighed and said "yeah" then paused and said "i love you". it was really sweet.
Me: Ah, tender

Same words, one in real life and one not. See?

Another quick example: (ripped from Real Life) Found out via facebook that a friend is no longer engaged. No further details. Assumptions galore.

Electronically, I say things I really mean and I say things I really don't mean. Electronically we get snippets of truths, quick and cheap info.

I urge you to just be aware. Ask the hard hitting question: In real life?

*You may or may not have noticed I didn't make any reference to twitter in this post. It is not that I am behind that times, it is just that I hate it with a passion of a thousand burning suns. Blog rant on twitter with tons of inappropriate vowel changes to the word "tweet" forthcoming.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

consider yourself warned

Someone who knows me ran into this man in Virginia Beach and thought of me... possibly because I hit the mark on many things listed. Ha. Doomed.

The Chaff

{This is a hot button issue, so if you are easily offended, I would urge you to read on, because the more you are exposed to differing views of your own, the less you will be generally offended. Everyone comes from a different place, everything uses different insights, everyone has a different slant, and you are only you... so, read on, get offended and then get over yourself.}

It's no secret that my news venue of choice is CNN. They unabashedly lean to the liberal side of reporting. They are biased and they own it. It makes it easy to discern fact from opinion over there at CNN. I take my daily news from them by saving the knowledge and throwing out the chaff.

The chaff: They have a series called "Black in America" and now, "Black in America 2". I don't get it at all. How is drawing attention to race helping anyone? It is so counter productive. It is just perpetuating the racial divides in our country. Clearly, we as a Nation have gotten over race to some extent and have moved onto (or shall I say regressed back to) using socioeconomic status as our new prejudice. It matters far more how much money you don't have.

How can it possibly be a good thing to call attention and focus an entire series on being black? The goal that we are so close to reaching is to have it not even matter what color your skin is. Now, I understand that a black person is treated differently then a white person. But, so is a poor person, or a person who is ugly, or a short man, or a fat woman. Everyone is different. Get over it. Streamlining a whole nations focus to being black in America is only perpetuating the notion that black people are different and of another class. Dig the divide deeper why don't you CNN. Ugh.

Now, also in the news there are reports that one of the nation's most prominent scholars was arrested in his own home for disorderly conduct.

Who cares that Henry Gates, Jr. is black? The answer: he does. If a white man had the same thing happen to him, no one would care. There was a call about a break in. He did appear to be breaking in. The man was disorderly. If this happened to me and the police showed up at my house, mistaking me for breaking into my own home, I would be praising the police for keeping the neighborhood safe, not throwing some sort of fit because of race. Furthermore if a poor black man with no money or education was arrested in the same situation, no one would care either. Would this have ever made the news had he been poor? Guess what Mr. Gates: they cared because of your social (thus economic) status.

Another thing CNN is reporting on is some principal succeeding by saying "you're black and you're smart". Ack. How about just "you're smart"? What would be so wrong with that? No one told me "you don't have glasses and you're smart" or "you're short and your smart". It is absurd. Stop acting like it matters.

It continually baffles me that people are still running around as if there is still prevalent racial prejudice when the real issue here isn't what color you are. For goodness sakes, our President is black. Guess what else he is: rich & educated.

We as a nation are so close to getting over racial divides. Please stop the hysteria. Let it go.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Boston: Freedom & Fun!

So, here is how it went down: I drove to Boston to celebrate America. A throwback to the old American Roadtrip, I hit the road with high hopes. They were not dashed.

I would say I was lucky, and there was no traffic... but that would be a lie. Here is the truth: I am a damn fine planner and thus, there was no traffic. I fled DC in the middle of the night, drove up to NYC and didn't hit any traffic, picked up the boys, ate at Jimbo's in Harlem, and continued on to Boston. The drive wasn't bad. Neither was breakfast.

On to Boston!

We listened Neil Diamond belt out "America", twice. We walked along the Freedom Trail. We lounged poolside. We threw tea into the Boston Harbor. We got chills as the Boston Pops performed 1812. We conquered the Frog Pond. We cheered at the Cheers Bar where everyone knew our name. We were delighted by a fly over. We marveled at the fireworks. We got our fill of crazy people watching. We (they) had a pun war. We enjoyed Boston.

Pictures for the people, by the people, of the people... And we all know how much I love a photo essay... but I don't have it in me today... so, here is a series of of short stories.

The Reason for The Season

Waiting for Neil.


Dancing to Neil.

More Neil.

After Neil.

Two if By Sea
Boston Water With Boats; Charles River

Boston Water With A Few Boats; Harbor

Boston Water With Out Boats; Lagoon in Commons

The Gang

Fire & Ice


Take a Ride With Me

On the road & off

Art That Touches You & That You Can Touch

Founding Fathers, Where They Are Today

One dead man (Washington) in a park in Boston.

Many dead men (Adams, Hancock, Revere, etc) in a park in Boston