Monday, April 14, 2008

The Village


April 13, 2008

BOILING SPRINGS, Penn.-- Bodies of a local predominate gang, the DBG, were found inside an upscale rental cottage along Yellow Breeches Creek on Sunday evening. Also found in the home was an inexcusable amount of wicker furnishings from the mid-nineties.

(Mary McMullen, the leader of DBG, with the Wicker Palm)

Suspicious behavior had been reported through out the weekend. On Friday evening a passerby noticed that the inhabitants of the house were drinking heavily out of an oversized red chalice. Saturday morning there were unconfirmed reports of crab walking and staged falls into the creek. Followed by phone calls to the local station on Saturday night from neighbors who heard sounds of pirating from off shore.



(Demonstration of odd behavior, ie. the initation Crab Walk being displayed)

(Members Hinkel, Bradshaw, Satterthwaite, and Olave ashore)

An inside source claims the weekend brew-ha-ha was riddled with stock buying, insider trading, fixed mergers and corporation building. Details of ties to European Rail companies are also surfacing. "There was a lot of business being acquired", said the source who wishes to remain anonymous.


(Scott, April, Wayne, Kim, Mandy & Trent playing Acuquire for the Victory Chalice)

Police believe that there may have been a confrontation sometime in the afternoon of Saturday, April 12th between some of the "Dirty Butterflies", or DBG members, and those in the rival gang "Clean Butterflies" (aka CBG). The rumble took place as the two possees crossed paths on the qaint tree lined streets of Carlisle, PA. Home turf for the CBG, most memebers attend the pricy private liberal arts college. DBG had gone inside the local farmers market to buy the most delicious whole chocolate milk, unprocessed of course since the Amish know how to treat their heifers right.

(The Cleanies)

After the public brawl, the DBG retreated and went back to the Boiling Springs where they learned the springs do not in fact boil, but the artisan well spring stays at a constant 52 degrees year round, of clear water literally bubbles like boiling water to the surface (hence the name)-- from caverns that are guessed to be almost 2000 feet below the surface. They then terrorised cute little fuzzy ducklings and big mama jamma geese.





DBG then tagged the bench near "The Bubble" in the middle of town. The brazen move in broad daylight was no surprise to the local law enforcement.


("Dirty Butterfly Gang Wuzz Here" scribed onto the local municipal bench)

Evidence suggest there was even jubilee on the creek after their return from the CBG scuffle. The source said "Oh, yes, they ate sweet berries and drank in the sunshine on the deck of the cottage. They canoed and paddle boated around the creek. Splashing and laughing. Then they leisurely swung on the old oak tree for hours; talking and laughing". Indicating they had no remorse for their tirade throughout the county.





Things weren't as peachy as they thought though. Upon arrival to the cottage there was a heavy thunder & lightening storm that crashed into the secluded home. And the home sits on the sight of an old train depot. Everyone in the village heard the ghost train multiple times Friday night. The local folklore indicates that when you hear the train, you know trouble is near. This time being no exception.


(Creepy scene from backyard of property)


The deceased have not yet been named. Among the surviving are Trent Bowen, Wayne Bradshaw, Mandy Jensen, Scott Inouey, Mary McMullen, Clint Satterthwaite, Kim Summers, April Hinkle and David Olave.

3 comments:

d e r e k said...

I can't believe Inouye went.

What's up with Trent's Kung-Fu grip on Mandy, in the first picture? The Trandy stance...

Mandy Lin said...

Jonison - you want to rumble.

Mary- I loved your police log. It was brilliant. The weekend was brilliant. You, my friend, are brilliant.

Nick said...

I love Mormons.