Monday, May 19, 2008

Chemical Warfare

So there I was in my kitchen tonight... I had just arrived home from watching Iron Man to find my kitchen hosting a smaller, more powerful smell then normal.

I began sniffing around in hopes of discovering the offender; to no avail. But, I had things to do, I couldn't be bothered with this pesky possibly-growth-stunting-chemical invasion of my house... I went downstairs into my room to work on high importance level project. I still noticed the smell, but didn't think much of it; I was busy.

Moments later my roommate came downstairs. She was concerned. The smell was apparently getting stronger upstairs... she was right. It was outright loud.

Like a true hero, I put my project on hold and I began a full fledged investigation upstairs.

Here were my findings:

Yesterday there was a minor ant invasion. We had sprayed. Could this smell be lingering ant spray? Seems unlikely, but as a true detective would, I took into account exterior factors: the oven was on; heat thus exacerbating the odor of the once stale ant spray. Furthermore, the spray had sat all day; thus could have germinated. Must just be the ant spray.

Returning to my room, I discover my room may actually be the vector. Eeek. Surveying my room, I decide to throw out my trash. I walk out to our shared garage space to the trash bin and discover this scene before my eyes:

Next door neighbor refinishing the garage floor at midnight. Nice. Buckets of lacquer and paint. He casually comments, "I bought the quick-dry stuff, the smell should be gone in about 5 hours." Translation: "This large bucket of poly-blah-blah has extra smelling chemicals in it and by morning you should be completely high. Hope your dreams trip you out tonight. Sleep well sucka".

Sweet dreams!


Michelle said...

Dear Mary,
Could it be that this is you and that you have blog?! Oh joy! I featured you on my blog a few weeks ago...

Mr. Findlay said...

Dear Mary,
This is Michelle's husband. I laughed with jollity at the whimsical and carefree narratives that I skimmed here on your blog. What a pleasure it is to have that light-hearted and passionate voice back in my head. Drop by and leave us some more comments yo!

Chester Elegante said...

Mary! I've been stalking YOU and just waiting for you to start a blog! Shout it out!!! Yay AND ciao!
Oh yeah, can I link you on my blog?

D.C. said...

I too took out the trash that evening. Love the smell of that stuff and was tempted to linger for a moment and get a little high, but I resisted. May I also note that our dear neighbor is none other than Mark Eaton himself, well ok, not THE Mark Eaton but he looks just like it. Tall, pasty, with a full beard. Every time I see him I picture him swatting Kareem AND Magic in the SAME play! Unbelievable!