I've Been Poisoned...

...by oak.

I noticed a weird set of hives on the top of my hand Sunday, but wasn't alarmed. Monday they were still there. Tuesday they were throwing a party. I went to the pharmacist who told me to get some benadryl spray. I did. Tonight (thursday) the "rash" was showing no signs of retreat.

Convinced I was a leper, I called home. Dr. Mom didn't seem alarmed. I finally had to email a picture of the situation, only to find out from my woodland father that I have POISON OAK.

omg. freak out. not me.

I will spare you all photos. Just know it's not contagious.

I had to do something drastic, so I immediately went online and bought a dress... then I used my wits and attacked the rash with some lactic/salicylic gel and a vitamin C/peptide resurfacing crystal regimen, if it is gone by morning I will be marketing that peel to wealthy hunters as there is no cure for poison oak; it takes up to two weeks to heal. TWO WEEKS.

Redbox

I distinctly remember the last time I was truly embarrassed. I was in the 5th grade. Sure, embarrassing things happen to me, but the emotion of embarrassment is something I just don't experience. I am not even sure I can really empathize with those who get embarrassed; for it has been far too long since I felt it. I find this a blessing. Sometimes it's a curse.

I don't have a functional DVD player and I haven't for a few years now. I do rent Redbox rentals for my students at work though. Tonight, I saw a charge from Redbox for not returning a rental, so I called them to find out what it was. I was prepared for it to be something a 15 year old would want to watch. What I got was so much more.

Redbox Agent: "Thanks for calling Redbox, this is Jaylen, how may I help you?" (ok, right there, I know this guy can't be more then 22 years old. His name is Jaylen for goodness sakes. And he just sounded youthful.)

Me: "I need to know what movie wasn't returned on my account?" I then have to deliver a lot of information. I don't sound 15.

Jaylen looks it up. Jaylen chuckles! Audibly laughs. Through the giggles, says "Ma'am, it was Justin Beieber Never Say Never"

Me: "Don't judge me" (about to explain it was for a middle school after school program)

Jaylen: "It's ok, no judgments here, my girlfriend made me watch it, its not bad." Another fit of laughter!

Me: "No, I have an after school program for middle school students... (at this point I realize I sound like I am lying) never mind, just know that I don't have any cats."

Jaylen: (can't stop giggling)

Me: "NO CATS!" and I hang up.

*If only Jaylen only knew that this is the second time I have blogged about Justin Beieber.

Two Lists: Summer and Summer

Summer 2011: Two Lists, One Summer.

List #1- What I am declaring as the next big thing and What's OUT/dead/boring me

• Home made Popsicles v. home made ice cream

• Designer Jello Desserts (not kidding) v. Cupcakes

• Twitter v. Face book (WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?)

• All sorts of weird and wonderful co-ops v. uninspirational farmers Markets

• Enjoying the movies v. thought-provoking, deep movies

• Casual Parisian Cafes (preferably with outside tables & exceptional service) v. Food trucks

And a bonus list tonight, because we are taking to the beach this Friday...

List #2: Beach Bag Essentials!

• Sunscreen, duh.
• Aloe lotion, duh.
• Blistex Medicated, duh.
• Flip flops.
• Extra pair of sunglasses.
• Portable ipod speakers. Some people like to read. I like to jam out.
• Quarters (about $10 worth). Either to pay for the sno-cone or the parking meter. Beach culture is a cash culture.
• Baby wipes. They are great to wash the salt water & sand mixture right off. Or the sticky Popsicle residue (see list #1).
• Plastic bags. Great to have for wet suits, sea shell collections, trash, or to protect your phone from the sand & waves.

It's a bad year to be a bad guy...

2011 has been a bad year to be a bad guy. A sampling/warning:

Bosnia genocide suspect Ratko Mladic arrested in Serbia

Rwandan genocide mastermind captured in DRC

Former Hutu militia leader Bernard Munyagishari, wanted on charges of crimes against humanity, arrested after 17 years

Federal authorities arrested over 100 organized crime suspects in the northeastern U.S.,in one of the largest single-day operations against the mafia in history.

And of course, Osama Bin Laden Dead.

Who is going to link this to Kim Jong Il?

Camelot

There was a period of time in recent American history referred to as "Camelot". The charisma of the Kennedy family and the success of his Administration led to the nickname.

There was also a time in recent Single-Mormon-Crystal-City history that I like to refer to as The Camelot Years. Those years are now over. Solidified with the move of our ward house location.

It turns out I don't own that building on the Potomac River. "That's my building" I used to say. Sigh. It was never for my own.

And it wasn't just the building. Just like with the Kennedy years; it was the way things were, the people, the administration, the innocence. Now, I realize the past is typically intrinsically better. After all, I was younger then. It was when I was in my 20's for goodness sakes.

I will look back on The Camelot Years with great fondness. There was so much to love.

Jackie Kennedy remarked, "There’ll be great presidents again… but there’ll never be another Camelot." I echo her sentiments.

I almost didnt post this...

But I couldn't help myself...

See, what you have here is an art project our local youth created. They didn't have much time. They could only use what was given to them. We were asked to use recycled materials, and as teams build visual representations of the restoration of our Church. That is right. It is now what you think you are looking at. The Heavenly Father is the Quaker Oats Man and Jesus is the Raisin Bran Sun; both Spirits depicted on milk jugs. That is indeed Joseph Smith praying at the bottom and the green/brown mess is the Sacred Grove. Now... I know, I KNOW.

Let this serve as your formal announcement that I am going to be traveling to upstate NY this summer on a trip with these kids, as their leader. Quaker Oats Man save us all.

A good day to blog...

Today is a good day to blog. I have done all my chores (at least the ones I will ever do). I don't have any work looming over my head like a stupid rain-cloud. I have hours to kill, but the problemo (Espanol for "problem") is that I don't have anything to blog about. Which, when I think about it, I never really did have anything I NEED to blog about...

Today I will blog about a gift I got, one which I am using right now. About three years ago my friend Diana (who apparently also ran out of things to blog about; disheartening) asked me if I wanted to go on a weekend cabin trip to a place I love; Deep Creek Lake... with people I didn't love. I didn't love them because I hadn't met them yet. Diana ended up not going, but I still went.

Obama was running for President, The Yankees were still playing on their old field, and I was still in my 20's. On that trip I met some extraordinary people who I became long-time friends with. Shout out to Jen Brooks, whose bridal shower I just went to and to Will Perry (it could have been great with us, but Mary Perry rhymes, and would never work).

The trip was filled with rustling trees, fall leaves, bright skies, a good food. One night someone made something delicious and I later emailed her for the recipe. In return she sent me a file of her roommates family annual recipe collection. I. use. it. all. the. time.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Now, it turns out there are names that are quite popular and commonplace in this religion. One surname being Christensen. Which, is the namesake of the file. I have no idea who these people are. I might not ever. But if you know Amy, Cammi, or Liz, Katie, or Alisa Christensen, go ahead and thank them for me.

By the by, if you want the recipe file, email me and I will email it to you. It includes such things as Peanutbutter Crumb Cake, Sweet Hawaiian Rolls, Tropical Coconut Chicken, Summer Squash Pesto Soup, and so many more. You're welcome Interwebz.