We Still Get It- Outer Banks Vacation Report

This travelogue is dedicated to Petechat.blogspot.com - he asked for it, and we know that every one else kinda sorta really desperately wants to know what happened too. And if you were there, then we can safely assume you have a touch of narcissism. After all, we are the Mean Girls.


So this is a, cough, heavily edited, tell-all. 


The Car Ride Down


Me, Heather, Wayne & Joe piled into the family mini-van & pasted our stick figure stickers on the back window. The most important thing that came of the car convos was the outline of our upcoming summer escape-lit novella... A period piece set in Nauvoo. "Noble Heart: A Pioneer Pony-Tale. ©"  Should hit Deseret Book shelves by the new year.


We also discussed various terms of endearment. The winning nickname was "fruitsnack". That's right. "Babe" is out, "Fruitsnack" is in... "Hey Fruitsnack, lookin' good".  

Joe & his mustache + Wayne & Heather in the basket at Harris Teeter. 

The Next Three Days (also the title of a movie we watched; not worth it). 


It is almost just a blur of happiness. It happened and it was wonderful.


Wayne took it upon himself to dig a hole in the beach. Patricia and Michelle also were obedient to the task. The entire beach was wondering why? Why a hole? Why now?! The answer: "If we didn't dig it, who would?". 

I never said digging it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it. 

Sadly, the weekend wasn't with out incident or accident. Kathy and Mother Ocean got in a fight. Kathy didn't get wet, the ocean got Wallaced. She is a survivor; sadly a survivor with a broken neck. The good news is that did overshadow the accident that Kim was victim to: the glass table breaking when she was on it. Let me just say this about that- she was not dancing on the table. 

Joe cleaning up debris from Hurricane Kim 

To cope, Dave time traveled back to 1993. He was on the land line phone, trying to decide what VHS to watch. I won't even mention Gorky Park. Don't google it. Just don't. 

Dave circa 1993

Meanwhile, Nate decided that instead of digging a hole in the sand, he should build up the sand and fulfilled a lifelong dream of becoming King Triton, a merman. Ok, fine, it was my idea. Whatever. Proof it happened:

I still am in shock that this happened. And that I took a picture. And that I posted it publicly. 

Another source of distraction came from the jumbo straws we bought. $2.50 provided not only convenient drinking straws, allowing no need to raise your drink any higher than necessary, but they also offered a chance for Joe & Kyle to build a mega-straw and try to drink from a couple stories high. They failed. 

Nice try. 

All the while we were able to relax in the hot tub, which suspiciously had a built in strobe light feature. The tie-in there to the '93 time travel is still unclear. This year, instead of floating Nachos, Stephanie classed it up with floating Chocolate & Chilled grapes. At that point we thought we got it... but then Tuesday morning, thanks to Heather, we finally really did get it. We moved our chairs down to the water and let the tide roll in, giving us a kiss of the ocean ever few minutes. How did it take five days to figure that trick out? I will never know. 


Speaking of things that were unknown. Someone in our ward, on the trip, didn't know who Joe was. Lulz.


Overall, another successful outer banks trip. A huge thank you to the gal-pals Jenny and Kathy for planning it this year! I don't want to wait a whole year for it again. 


BEACH, PLZ! 


[Important Edits: 7:51pm, 9/8/2011]


Edit 1. Early reports are that they did indeed succeed with the multi-story-straw. I doubt it, but I did do the splits one night at 2am, in the midst of many nay-sayers, so with that, I will say anything is possible. 


Edit 2. Also, on the ride down JoeJohn twice exited the vehicle, while in motion, to remove debris. The first time I thought he was just done with us and leaving. But no, he was saving the trip

Hurricane Irene

The flame of hate I have for the Media still burns bright. In the aftermath of Hurricane Irene, that flame has now lit a field of viewers on fire too. The news today is all about how the storm was over hyped. There was a poll in my local paper asking if it “met expectations”. WTF; expectations? Wrong word choice. I didn’t have expectations, I had information, subsequent fears, and prepared accordingly.

They are devastated there isn’t more devastation. Disappointed that the East Coast wasn’t swallowed up by the Altantic, people are laughing, jeering, and forgetting…

PEOPLE DIED.

I am sickened by survivors running amuck making fun of the “non-hurricane”. They are just as blind as those who were fear-mongering beforehand (incidentally, the cross over between the two groups has got to be high- more on that later).

At least 21 people died. MILLIONS went without power. Thousands are stranded by floods. There is 10B worth of estimated damage (the B stands for billion).

Thankfully, as I sit here eating my emergency-cheesecake I bought (just in case things got real bad), I have power. A tree didn’t cause my house to crumble on top of me. Flood waters aren’t outside my front door ready to sweep me or my car away. Others can't be as thankful. As a nation, we were more prepared this time then we were for Katrina. Thankfully people bought provisions beforehand, headed evacuation orders, hunkered down. Thankfully the storm was down-graded and wasn’t a Cat 3 the entire time it was over land.

Those people who bought into the hype and thus induced hysteria; those who were fighting people at the store to secure their 13th case of water, those who were prophesying that entire cities would be wiped out. Those people feel silly. Those people are now making fun of what wasn’t. Those people are now just as bad as the media who sent them to the stores in frenzy in the first place. Those who weren’t freaking out beforehand, but were appropriately preparing by gathering emergency supplies without sending alarmist shock waves through their circles, are not upset: glad they had water & food for the weekend and didn’t have to risk going outside.

Irene could have been far worse. She unfortunately brought death and devastation. Let’s be thankful that we were prepared as best we could be and that next time we will have lived through this (some didn’t) and that we will know more of what to expect.


UPDATE: someone sent me this link. A visual representation of what we went through.

http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/08/hurricane-irene/100138/

[This photo comes from the NASA website, unaltered, to show you the size of storm we encountered. You know, the one people keep dismissing.]

I've Been Poisoned...

...by oak.

I noticed a weird set of hives on the top of my hand Sunday, but wasn't alarmed. Monday they were still there. Tuesday they were throwing a party. I went to the pharmacist who told me to get some benadryl spray. I did. Tonight (thursday) the "rash" was showing no signs of retreat.

Convinced I was a leper, I called home. Dr. Mom didn't seem alarmed. I finally had to email a picture of the situation, only to find out from my woodland father that I have POISON OAK.

omg. freak out. not me.

I will spare you all photos. Just know it's not contagious.

I had to do something drastic, so I immediately went online and bought a dress... then I used my wits and attacked the rash with some lactic/salicylic gel and a vitamin C/peptide resurfacing crystal regimen, if it is gone by morning I will be marketing that peel to wealthy hunters as there is no cure for poison oak; it takes up to two weeks to heal. TWO WEEKS.

Redbox

I distinctly remember the last time I was truly embarrassed. I was in the 5th grade. Sure, embarrassing things happen to me, but the emotion of embarrassment is something I just don't experience. I am not even sure I can really empathize with those who get embarrassed; for it has been far too long since I felt it. I find this a blessing. Sometimes it's a curse.

I don't have a functional DVD player and I haven't for a few years now. I do rent Redbox rentals for my students at work though. Tonight, I saw a charge from Redbox for not returning a rental, so I called them to find out what it was. I was prepared for it to be something a 15 year old would want to watch. What I got was so much more.

Redbox Agent: "Thanks for calling Redbox, this is Jaylen, how may I help you?" (ok, right there, I know this guy can't be more then 22 years old. His name is Jaylen for goodness sakes. And he just sounded youthful.)

Me: "I need to know what movie wasn't returned on my account?" I then have to deliver a lot of information. I don't sound 15.

Jaylen looks it up. Jaylen chuckles! Audibly laughs. Through the giggles, says "Ma'am, it was Justin Beieber Never Say Never"

Me: "Don't judge me" (about to explain it was for a middle school after school program)

Jaylen: "It's ok, no judgments here, my girlfriend made me watch it, its not bad." Another fit of laughter!

Me: "No, I have an after school program for middle school students... (at this point I realize I sound like I am lying) never mind, just know that I don't have any cats."

Jaylen: (can't stop giggling)

Me: "NO CATS!" and I hang up.

*If only Jaylen only knew that this is the second time I have blogged about Justin Beieber.

Two Lists: Summer and Summer

Summer 2011: Two Lists, One Summer.

List #1- What I am declaring as the next big thing and What's OUT/dead/boring me

• Home made Popsicles v. home made ice cream

• Designer Jello Desserts (not kidding) v. Cupcakes

• Twitter v. Face book (WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?)

• All sorts of weird and wonderful co-ops v. uninspirational farmers Markets

• Enjoying the movies v. thought-provoking, deep movies

• Casual Parisian Cafes (preferably with outside tables & exceptional service) v. Food trucks

And a bonus list tonight, because we are taking to the beach this Friday...

List #2: Beach Bag Essentials!

• Sunscreen, duh.
• Aloe lotion, duh.
• Blistex Medicated, duh.
• Flip flops.
• Extra pair of sunglasses.
• Portable ipod speakers. Some people like to read. I like to jam out.
• Quarters (about $10 worth). Either to pay for the sno-cone or the parking meter. Beach culture is a cash culture.
• Baby wipes. They are great to wash the salt water & sand mixture right off. Or the sticky Popsicle residue (see list #1).
• Plastic bags. Great to have for wet suits, sea shell collections, trash, or to protect your phone from the sand & waves.

It's a bad year to be a bad guy...

2011 has been a bad year to be a bad guy. A sampling/warning:

Bosnia genocide suspect Ratko Mladic arrested in Serbia

Rwandan genocide mastermind captured in DRC

Former Hutu militia leader Bernard Munyagishari, wanted on charges of crimes against humanity, arrested after 17 years

Federal authorities arrested over 100 organized crime suspects in the northeastern U.S.,in one of the largest single-day operations against the mafia in history.

And of course, Osama Bin Laden Dead.

Who is going to link this to Kim Jong Il?

Camelot

There was a period of time in recent American history referred to as "Camelot". The charisma of the Kennedy family and the success of his Administration led to the nickname.

There was also a time in recent Single-Mormon-Crystal-City history that I like to refer to as The Camelot Years. Those years are now over. Solidified with the move of our ward house location.

It turns out I don't own that building on the Potomac River. "That's my building" I used to say. Sigh. It was never for my own.

And it wasn't just the building. Just like with the Kennedy years; it was the way things were, the people, the administration, the innocence. Now, I realize the past is typically intrinsically better. After all, I was younger then. It was when I was in my 20's for goodness sakes.

I will look back on The Camelot Years with great fondness. There was so much to love.

Jackie Kennedy remarked, "There’ll be great presidents again… but there’ll never be another Camelot." I echo her sentiments.