Ungovernable

Yo. We ventured to The City and peaked in on some new art at the New Museum. The concept of the New Museum is that the art is even fresher than contemporary- its "now" art. The current exhibition is called "The Ungovernables". It is just what you'd expect. A bunch of weird art... but is it? (Is it art that is). When you think of new age fake art, it doesn't get better then what we saw experienced. 

The best/worst of the lot is Hassan Khan's Jewel (2010). There is a deep ethnic bass-tastic beat that lures you down a dark hallway into a dark room with music piped in and a film of two men dancing projected onto one wall. They are supposed to be representative of something. Who cares. They are dancing. And you just watch them dance. And it's hypnotic. And terrible. And makes you want to dance. And you do. But no one else does. And the music's so loud it seems to hide you.

In my mind I have mocked this for days. Yet, whenever I describe it, somehow the description that comes out seems so cool. 


I can't stop thinking about it. 

And the winner isn't...

I typically see all the nominated films for best picture, it's just the sheer volume of movies I go to. This year I saw an all time low of all time low quality. 


Here are my opinions... THERE ARE SPOILERS.


The Artist- I am the only person I know who didn't like this movie. They stopped silent films for a reason. They are so two dimensional (literally, duh, and figuratively). The depth & breadth of expression is limited. Sure, in some ways that forces the actors to be much more; animated and stretch themselves to physically act. The problem with The Artists was not the actors acting. They did a fine job. The problem was the story. So shallow. So unrealistic. So not enough. Like his suicide attempt, seriously. And she magically knew to go to him... since she knows him so well... wait she doesn't. If it were a non-silent film, no one would like it. 


The Descendants- opposite from The Artist, Descendants is deep, complex, and still has good acting on top of all of that. It's a somber movie, one that I did not particularly enjoy watching. But it was well done. The script was thought out, the direction was pretty perfect, the characters were fully developed, and Hawaii doesn't hurt as a on-location shoot for cinematography. 


Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close- Ok, it was a good story and an average movie. I don't get why this was nominated really? Oh yeah, because there wasn't anything else worth nominating. 


The Help- I know exactly why this was nominated- and it has nothing to do with being a good movie. It has to do with the political sentiment of it all... which they even got that wrong. Spoiler alert: A white woman comes in and saves an unappreciated black subculture. What? 


Midnight in Paris- My favorite of the lot. Not necessarily the best of the lot... That said, if this movie had been done by anyone else (besides Woody Allen) it would be touted as the best movie... too bad it was created by a man who produces movie greatness so regularly they forget how amazing it is. It amazes me that somewhere in someones mind was this idea and that they were able to put it in a movie script and it played well. I think they did the best with casting. Each was perfect for their role. It may have been a tinge too niche. If you aren't familiar with turn of the century american arts, you may not have appreciated some of the subtleties that really knocked this one to a whole new level inside a well crafted plot with beautiful people in a beautiful place with a beautiful message.  


Moneyball- Brad Pitt playing Brad Pitt playing Billy Bean. Also, we have seen this underdog sports movie before, it was called Rudy, Remember the Titans Miracle on Friday Night Lights.


The following were nominated, but I did not see... 
Hugo
The Tree of Life
War Horse

I still can't wait for Sunday.

The State of the Art of Public Speaking

If you are joining me for the first time, this is what happens: I watch the State of the Union. I type my responses live as it spills off the teleprompter into President Obama's mouth, and back out again to us as he feeds us words (like baby-birds). 

Things in BOLD BLUE are either quotes or paraphrases of President Obama. My reaction is immediately after in standard color.

Here we go... 

_________

Last month I went to Andrews, welcomed home the troops from Iraq. A million fought. This generations has made the US safer & more respected around the world. Thank you George W. 

_________

Joe Biden- that tie with the diagonal stripes is making the camera go wacky. 

_________ 

Everyone gets a fair shot. Everyone plays by the same rules - Flat tax? flat tax? Immediate disappointment when I realize he is talking about socialism. Sigh. 

_________

(Talking of the mortgage crisis): In 2008 the house of cards collapsed. Get it... HOUSE PUN! 

_________

Join me to train 2 million directly to a job. HOW OMG HOW?!

_________

Every state requires every student stay in high school until they graduate or turn 18. HOW? No really, how? 

_________

Doubling work-study jobs in the next five years? HOW OMG HOW? We can't afford this. Wait for it, he agrees with me: we can't keep subsidizing- we can't afford it. 

_________

We should take on illegal immigration... Send me a bill that affords people to stay in this country and I will sign it. SEND ME A UNICORN & I WILL RIDE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE MOON! 

_________

Blah, blah, blah, Natural Gas, Natural Gas, Natural Gas. Attention anyone who is reading this. He is talking about fracking. ITS FRACKING. Why wont he just say that? Oh, because it is highly controversial. Oh because near fracking sights, tap water lights on fire if near a flame? See this video. Keystone pipeline? What? Huh? Oh yeah. 

_________

(On war money): We should use 1/2 to pay down debt, & use the rest to pay for nation building right here at home. Uhhhhh- he is planning to use only HALF to pay ALL the debt. Ok, you spend $100 at war, then you will pay $50 back and $50 on some toys "infrastructure jobs" that you will reap back 30% of in taxes ($15)... someone get me a calculator. 

_________

If you're a mortgage lender. The days of signing people up for loans they cant afford: those days are over. Where are my Clintons at? See this 1999 article. If you read nothing else, read that. & I am asking attorney general to expand investigations that led to the housing crisis. Let me save you the trouble... FOUND! Here. 

_________

America is back. Anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't know what they are talking about. I agree. 

_________ 

Our freedom endures because of men/women in uniform who defend it. Can you have your cake and eat it too? 

_________

Obama care- oh yeah, never mind. never mentioned. 

Hillary- the headband, really? 

11/12

2011: Wasn't bad... but we can do better. The new year brings new hope. My birthday is in a few weeks--- so that is an added sense of renewal for me. I am excited for the what can be. 


And what you all come here for- the pictures. Here is a 2011 recap.

Top to bottom, Left to Right: 
My birthday, Times Square, Spring Picnics, Memorial Day at the Lake
Youth Conference, Independence Day, Country Concerts, Cheat Lake Bon Fire
Kua Bay Hawaii, Duck Beach NC, Ward Retreat Cunningham Falls, Hudson Valley River 
Navy Football Games, Birth of Junior, Gingerbread Houses, Christmas at National Harbor

Mary McMullen 2011 Gift Guide

Hello my babies! If you are like me & don't live near your family - you are not around day in & out to hear them say subtle things like "there are no good pot-holders in this house!" or "buy me a damn watch". So, I am here to post things that might  help you be inspired to give. This list leans towards adults (think: friends, aunts, cousins, parents, babysitters, teachers, siblings). The thing with kids is that usually if you ask them what they want, they will tell you. Adults always say "I don't need anything"- or you are too polite to say. And sometimes, as an adult, you don't even know what you want.


_________________________________________
Local Nature

This takes a little bit of thought, but for someone who you won't see- this is a fun/easy/cheap alternative. Go outside and find something local & mail it in a padded mailer to your loved one. Once my friends mom mailed her some orange blossom leaves from Arizona, my mother once mailed me some Cherries from our backyard tree. Or simply gather fall leaves, or melted snow in a tiny bottle. I know, its kinda weird, but trust me, it will make whoever gets it feel closer to you then they have in a long while.


_________________________________________
Book Hook Wooden Book Mark

Sleek, smart, and preserves your read. You can buy it here, for $50 + shipping (note: ships from Germany) or I am certain you could make it yourself quite simply. Get to home depot!


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Star Projector or Pinhole Planetarium

Dreamy. I can't imagine anyone not wanting this pinhole planetarium ($22). You have to build it yourself, but no big deal. For a fun design, try this 3-D option. ($40) If you'd like a little more accurate/fancy you can splurge on this one instead for the real astro-buff. $100


____________________________________________
Stamps

Useful or collectible. Encourages communication, they also last forever. I showcased the Maritime stamps- but they offer many more, everything from Edward Hopper for the art fan, to Indy 500 for the nascar fan.  $2-8 for packs.


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Cheese Making Kit

First of all, cheese is delicious. Part science project, part foodie gift. Mozzerella Kit. $18.50 from Amazon.com - I have also seen these on sale for cheaper at my local Harris Teeter in their speciality cheese case.


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Lego Architecture

Inspire an kid or help an adult fulfill a designing dream. I could see a man working on this while watching his nightly news. Lego Architecture Kits. $20-$199 depending on size and intricacy. Sears tower shown, $20. Other options include: Frank Lloyd Wright houses, Guggenheim Building, and more.


____________________________________________
Night Hike Compass

Could be practical. Could be used as a paper weight on a desk. Could be fun for a kid to play with. Glow in the Dark Compass. Found from American Science & Surplus, which has a ton of other fun items. $10 once shipped.


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LaLaLoopsy Dolls

Its a modern rag doll. It's cute & looks easy to clean. $30 average... $6 for a mini-$50 for a doll & accessories. A boy & a girl, a girly girl, You can buy pretty much anywhere in store too (target, walmart, toys r us, FAO).

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Two Bonus Gift Ideas:

Make or buy baked good- brownies, cookies, or a whole cake.

Give an addict their vice- a 12 pack of diet coke, a bulk pack of chapstick, scented candles, whatever they use often and in repetition. It's nice to not have to buy your normal loot.

All the Hallows that Eve

I really enjoy Halloween. I like to dress up.

The thing is that when I really think about it, Halloween is absurd. If there are aliens, I desperately hope they show up on Halloween, not knowing that it isn't just what we do. We don't dress in craziness, we don't send our children out to gather our food intake from other houses for variety. That's the magic of it all- it's so beyond what we would typically do, but it is so socially accepted. Even people who wouldn't dress up for a theme party, or wouldn't even dress up for a fancy party- will dress up on Halloween.

Not only is is just a bunch of silliness- its a pretty pointed theme. It is celebrating nothing. And don't get all Halloween-historic on me. No one really knows/really cares. It's a holiday for holidays sake. There is nothing to do but focus on the event itself. Even Valentines Day- which might be the most made up of them all, is celebrating love. Ok, I guess St. Patricks day isn't much of a holiday either- but there are no St. Patrick traditions- besides getting drunk. Halloween: you have a goal. You dress up. You get treats. You trick people.

A review- dressing up, treats, imagination, creativeness, magic, the occult, playing tricks, a singular focus, friends, fun, lolipops (literally), sunshine (hopefully), and rainbows (if you're lucky). [[See what I just did there, that was a throw-back to St. Patricks day and the Luck of the Irish]].

What's not to love? Let loose. Happy Halloween!

Here is a glimpse of my costume this year...

Any guesses what's happening here? Stay tuned...

We Still Get It- Outer Banks Vacation Report

This travelogue is dedicated to Petechat.blogspot.com - he asked for it, and we know that every one else kinda sorta really desperately wants to know what happened too. And if you were there, then we can safely assume you have a touch of narcissism. After all, we are the Mean Girls.


So this is a, cough, heavily edited, tell-all. 


The Car Ride Down


Me, Heather, Wayne & Joe piled into the family mini-van & pasted our stick figure stickers on the back window. The most important thing that came of the car convos was the outline of our upcoming summer escape-lit novella... A period piece set in Nauvoo. "Noble Heart: A Pioneer Pony-Tale. ©"  Should hit Deseret Book shelves by the new year.


We also discussed various terms of endearment. The winning nickname was "fruitsnack". That's right. "Babe" is out, "Fruitsnack" is in... "Hey Fruitsnack, lookin' good".  

Joe & his mustache + Wayne & Heather in the basket at Harris Teeter. 

The Next Three Days (also the title of a movie we watched; not worth it). 


It is almost just a blur of happiness. It happened and it was wonderful.


Wayne took it upon himself to dig a hole in the beach. Patricia and Michelle also were obedient to the task. The entire beach was wondering why? Why a hole? Why now?! The answer: "If we didn't dig it, who would?". 

I never said digging it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it. 

Sadly, the weekend wasn't with out incident or accident. Kathy and Mother Ocean got in a fight. Kathy didn't get wet, the ocean got Wallaced. She is a survivor; sadly a survivor with a broken neck. The good news is that did overshadow the accident that Kim was victim to: the glass table breaking when she was on it. Let me just say this about that- she was not dancing on the table. 

Joe cleaning up debris from Hurricane Kim 

To cope, Dave time traveled back to 1993. He was on the land line phone, trying to decide what VHS to watch. I won't even mention Gorky Park. Don't google it. Just don't. 

Dave circa 1993

Meanwhile, Nate decided that instead of digging a hole in the sand, he should build up the sand and fulfilled a lifelong dream of becoming King Triton, a merman. Ok, fine, it was my idea. Whatever. Proof it happened:

I still am in shock that this happened. And that I took a picture. And that I posted it publicly. 

Another source of distraction came from the jumbo straws we bought. $2.50 provided not only convenient drinking straws, allowing no need to raise your drink any higher than necessary, but they also offered a chance for Joe & Kyle to build a mega-straw and try to drink from a couple stories high. They failed. 

Nice try. 

All the while we were able to relax in the hot tub, which suspiciously had a built in strobe light feature. The tie-in there to the '93 time travel is still unclear. This year, instead of floating Nachos, Stephanie classed it up with floating Chocolate & Chilled grapes. At that point we thought we got it... but then Tuesday morning, thanks to Heather, we finally really did get it. We moved our chairs down to the water and let the tide roll in, giving us a kiss of the ocean ever few minutes. How did it take five days to figure that trick out? I will never know. 


Speaking of things that were unknown. Someone in our ward, on the trip, didn't know who Joe was. Lulz.


Overall, another successful outer banks trip. A huge thank you to the gal-pals Jenny and Kathy for planning it this year! I don't want to wait a whole year for it again. 


BEACH, PLZ! 


[Important Edits: 7:51pm, 9/8/2011]


Edit 1. Early reports are that they did indeed succeed with the multi-story-straw. I doubt it, but I did do the splits one night at 2am, in the midst of many nay-sayers, so with that, I will say anything is possible. 


Edit 2. Also, on the ride down JoeJohn twice exited the vehicle, while in motion, to remove debris. The first time I thought he was just done with us and leaving. But no, he was saving the trip