I almost didnt post this...

But I couldn't help myself...

See, what you have here is an art project our local youth created. They didn't have much time. They could only use what was given to them. We were asked to use recycled materials, and as teams build visual representations of the restoration of our Church. That is right. It is now what you think you are looking at. The Heavenly Father is the Quaker Oats Man and Jesus is the Raisin Bran Sun; both Spirits depicted on milk jugs. That is indeed Joseph Smith praying at the bottom and the green/brown mess is the Sacred Grove. Now... I know, I KNOW.

Let this serve as your formal announcement that I am going to be traveling to upstate NY this summer on a trip with these kids, as their leader. Quaker Oats Man save us all.

A good day to blog...

Today is a good day to blog. I have done all my chores (at least the ones I will ever do). I don't have any work looming over my head like a stupid rain-cloud. I have hours to kill, but the problemo (Espanol for "problem") is that I don't have anything to blog about. Which, when I think about it, I never really did have anything I NEED to blog about...

Today I will blog about a gift I got, one which I am using right now. About three years ago my friend Diana (who apparently also ran out of things to blog about; disheartening) asked me if I wanted to go on a weekend cabin trip to a place I love; Deep Creek Lake... with people I didn't love. I didn't love them because I hadn't met them yet. Diana ended up not going, but I still went.

Obama was running for President, The Yankees were still playing on their old field, and I was still in my 20's. On that trip I met some extraordinary people who I became long-time friends with. Shout out to Jen Brooks, whose bridal shower I just went to and to Will Perry (it could have been great with us, but Mary Perry rhymes, and would never work).

The trip was filled with rustling trees, fall leaves, bright skies, a good food. One night someone made something delicious and I later emailed her for the recipe. In return she sent me a file of her roommates family annual recipe collection. I. use. it. all. the. time.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Now, it turns out there are names that are quite popular and commonplace in this religion. One surname being Christensen. Which, is the namesake of the file. I have no idea who these people are. I might not ever. But if you know Amy, Cammi, or Liz, Katie, or Alisa Christensen, go ahead and thank them for me.

By the by, if you want the recipe file, email me and I will email it to you. It includes such things as Peanutbutter Crumb Cake, Sweet Hawaiian Rolls, Tropical Coconut Chicken, Summer Squash Pesto Soup, and so many more. You're welcome Interwebz.

Spring- Missing Words

I hate spring; not the season itself; have something against the word "spring". It means a few things. Its obviously the season after Winter, before Summer. Which I love. So, then it is also a place where water flows naturally (typically after snow melt, during Springtime, thus the damn origin of that version of word). A spring is also a mechanical device that is usually a spiral that returns to it shape when released, or absorbs shock when pressed. You can also "spring" a leak, or people can "spring" out of something (jail or bed, whatever).

The problem here is we use this word for so many different things. It all started because this glorious beautiful season evokes growth, renewal, rains, warmer weather, flowers, lollipops, rainbows and sunshine. (If you aren't getting lollipops, you are doing it wrong).

And for that, I am excited.

[The picture feature isn't working right now. Imagine a lovely photo from last springtimes cherry blossom festival]

But it still troubles me that we can not figure out how to stop using this word. They all mean completely different things! Spring (the season) is the origin for all the other definitions of the word "spring" but come on, it's just crazy that we can't collectively be more creative here. And don't get me started on words that don't even exist. There are missing words in our language. At least people just started filling things in with the same word (spring). Some words just aren't.

Oscar-Mania, or maybe just mania

I have been meaning to blog like a thousand different things lately. And haven't. Which, is a good, right? It means I am busy... or lazy. Either way, a win for me.

The first thing we need to talk about is the Oscars. They are in a few short weeks (Feb. 27th, ABC)... I love the movies. I like all art really, but the movies are near the top of my list. Non-purposefully, I have seen all of the nominations for Best Film, albeit one (Black Swan, and I have no desire to see it, so probably won't). Not only have I seen most of the nominated films, but I am also quite opinionated.

So which is my pick for best pic? I have reasons... I have opinions... Lets go through each of the Nominations for Best Picture...

The crowd favorite is The Kings Speech. Which, granted is first-rate. It has a strong cast, an excellent triumph, and a lot of feel good fluff. This movie is that of summer-lit. Escapism. But of course to the pretentious audience doesn't feel that way, because after all it is a) European and b) historic. Don't get me wrong. I liked the movie. A lot. But it falls a little short. It stands on it's emotions a little bit too much. It doesn't go deep enough.

The other favorite is Inception, but for other reasons. It wasn't as acclaimed by the critics, but the movie-goers ate this movie up. It got everyone talking about it, something the rest of the movies failed to do. It was universally loved because it was good. It had all the elements we want and everything was done exceptionally well, except for the plot. It was complex, and filled with holes. I won't get into all of it (I could write a whole post about this. I won't.) I can not write this article in good faith with out asking you a few questions... Why does Fischer end up in Cobb's limbo? Cobb wasn't the architect or the host of the dream. Doesn't make sense. Also, if it really is Cobb who is in a dream and not awake (like Mal claims), then why is he using Mal's totem- which they explicitly tell us can only be calibrated to the owner. So her spinning top wouldn't really help Cobb. None of this movie makes any sense unless we are to believe that it's all in Mal's dream and they are trying to incept her (theoretically to wake up). But, they never do that in the movie. They do though try to incept Cobb to wake up though, multiple times. Ugh. Doesn't. Make. Sense. Should. Not. Win. That said, I really did like it and did think it was one of the best movies of the year, just not the best.

The Fighter might win. The Academy loves to award people who do physical transformations. If the actor can trick you into forgetting who they are in real life, The Academy thinks they have done a good job. (See: Charlize Theron in Monster). And the entire cast of The Fighter really did transform. Christian Bale over acted though. I don't care how much he was spot-on to the guy he plays in the movie. He over did it. If that man is really that annoying in real life, then they should have toned it down for the movie. The mom, played by Melissa Leo does deserve to win the Best Supporting Actress.

The Kids are All Right was all wrong. It was edgy, but it was also stupid. SPOILER ALERT: I don't know any adult who would act as selfishly as Julianne Moore did in this movie and have all the blame go to someone else; poor Mark Ruffulo. This movie shouldn't have even been nominated.

True Grit: I liked you, but I have a problem with a remake being nominated. You are a copy. You have been done. You have had your time in the sun. You were great the second go round. You were redone really well, but you can't win. You aren't new.

Social Network: The only reason it won the Golden Globe is because the Hollywood Foreign Press Association members are old and thought they were hip with the times exposing the Facebook guy. Anyone who grew up with technology gets it- no big deal here.

Toy Story 3: I wish this movie weren't a cartoon and I wish it wasn't part of a trilogy of cartoons. The story was brilliant. It was even angst-y enough that it had a shot at greatness. Whoever wrote this script should have put it in a different context.

Now, the movie that should win is Winters Bone. This movie had it all. A superb plot. Great cinematography. Impeccable acting. It was gripping. It exposed something that deserves our attention. It was real. It was not pretensions in any way. It was a good story told really well. It had the depth and the breadth that a winning movie should have. (If you don't know, it is about a teen girl who is tracking down her drug-dealing father through the Ozark mountains). It was a better movie than any of the other nominees. Nearly flawless.

My second favorite movie of the lot was 127 Hours. It was genius. I still can't wrap my mind around the story, and it was based off a true story. Gah. HE CUTS HIS OWN ARM OFF. I don't want to find out, but I'd like to think I am bad-ass enough to do that. But the fact that I really can't even fathom it, means I probably wouldn't be. It also made movie strides. It did what Cast Away couldn't do. It was a solo-performance that captivated me. It also was filmed in a limited amount of space and wasn't stifling at all. The director of this movie deserves a win, but he wasn't even nominated. James Franco was, and he deserves the win for Best Actor. He took this movie to a whole new level. I think this movie is a bit before it's time unfortunately. This movie will be used to teach film students for years though. Years, I tell you.

That's a wrap.

Official Moderate Reform Party* Political Response to the State of the Union, 2011

If you are joining me for the first time, this is what happens: I watch the State of the Union, and all the while, I will type my responses as it spills off the teleprompter into President Obama's mouth, and back out again as he feeds us regurgitated words (like baby-birds).

Things in BLUE are either quotes or paraphrases of President Obama. My reaction is immediately after in standard color.

.....

Obama enters. He is working that room like a politician in November. But it's not November- he must be worried.

"I want to start by congratulating the congress" - WHAT?! I want you to start by giving us an actual state of the union. Because you forgot to do that last time, stay focused.

"The challenges we face are bigger than politics. Jobs are more important than elections." Yes, especially when you are loosing, they are. Man, he really must be worried about his reelection.

"The stock market has come roaring back". Just because you say it, doesn't make it true.

"Challenges that have been decades in the making" Shifting blame.

Quoting a Kennedy (he called him Robert) Who calls Bobby, Robert?

Finally he is talking about his solutions, after telling us how Korea, China and Russia, and India are out smarting us. He claims to have a plan how to get us to be back on top. I have been waiting.

Encouraging innovation. "What we can do, what we do better, is spark imagination. Cars, computers, Edison, the Wright brothers, Google, Facebook. Innovation, it is how we make our living. Free enterprise." Yes, I agree. Who cares if we can spit out a math problem on a test, we invent things. McDonalds, the Internet, Flying, Cars, Coke, Microsoft, the list goes on. And why? I have said it before- we really are that lazy, if there is a better/faster/smarter way to do something, count on an American to figure it out.

OH NO, HE JUST BROUGHT UP THE MOON LANDING. On the moon landing, he said "the science wasn't there yet." interesting. it wasn't? huh, however did we do it then? oh, we didnt? ok.

"I will be sending a budget to invest in biomedical, communication, clean energy technology. an investment. promise of renewable energy. million electric vehicles by 2015. to pay for it: stop giving money to oil companies. new goal: by 2035 80% of US energy from clean energy sources." Steven Chu was writing down furiously, as if he had never heard this before. What is going on? Pull it together. Also, I thought the answer was FREE enterprise, but now its going back to tax reform. Ugh.

Talking about rebuilding America- attracting new businesses. High speed rail needs to be built. !?!?!?!?!? Really, that won't solve anything. Infrastructure. Dies. He just made fun of the FAA patdown. OMG. Stop making fun of it and start changing the policy. If our president thinks it's a joke, it is time to change it. Oh, and more tax reform.

Talking about why America is great, he says, "Its why we have safe air"- ZING china. But he didn't call out china specifically, he should have, he did earlier when talking about our competition and people doing things better than us.

More tax reform. Everything comes back to tax reform.

Debt- our government spends more than it takes in. That is not sustainable. We freeze annual domestic spending for the next five years. This freeze will require painful cuts. We have frozen the salary of hard working. You should have hit those not hard working instead. Don't send a message through these stunts anymore please.

Tip: Don't use airplane crash analogies, EVER, when addressing the U.S. people. I Cringe.

If a bill comes with earmarks, i will veto it. Jerk. Earmarks are how we trade in big-time politics. And it's how we allocate funds.

Iraq is mentioned- 58 min into it, and he talks about leaving. What about Afghanistan?

Oh here it is- Mentions Afgan.

North Korea: abandon nuclear weapons. Let us be clear: we stand with the people of Tunisina. Acknowledges troops, doesn't thank them. 61 min into it he is just now telling me THE STATE OF MY UNION.

"I don't know one person here who would trade places with any other nation on earth." AMEN OBAMA, AMEN!

Shout out to Joe Biden- Biden just fist pumped, lulz.

Obama just took credit for saving the miners. Like a true American. You're welcome Chile, by the way.

.....

Ok, overall, I would have loved to hear a shorter version of this on the campaign trail. Or at a town hall. Or anywhere else where I was NOT expecting to hear how our Nation is doing. He talked about the future too much. And it was inspiring.

Tax reform is happening, I know that much. What I don't know: where our jobs are? What we are doing to create them? What exactly are these tax reforms going to be? Guess: big business breaks will be over, thus, they wont be able to afford to hire all these innovators he is dreaming about.

Another thing we dont know about: Where exactly do we stand with National Security? The wars? The treats of wars? Where is America with regards to other developed countries in terms of the market? What is being done about it? Are we stable? And what is the Medical situation. It passed, now what? That's what the average American wants- timeline us.

Too many questions. No answers. One solution: taxes.

_____________________________________________________

*Moderate Reform Party? Yeah, it doesn't exist... yet. But, it's what I am. I am pretty moderate. An independent you might say? And you'd be wrong. The Independent Party is totally different. I am moderate. I lean right. I am a self-identified Republican, at the moment... but it's not a perfect fit. So, until my party is chartered, I will vote my conscience. I will be pro-choice, anti-drugs, pro-tax, anti-big government, pro-education, anti-obamacare, pro-capitalism, anti-capital punishment, and most important, I will judge the State of the Union Speech.

what really bugs me...

Happy new year... blah blah blah.

Ok, now that is out of the way, lets talk about some things. Some things that really REALLY bother me.

First, fake mustaches. This is something that I just don't get. There is this trend to have mustaches at parties and people (girls and boys) wear them. I have seen this at weddings, WEDDINGS. What is going on. I mean, it has caught on like wild fire and there is no brand that is making this happen. This trend is totally organic. This trend isn't being sold. There is no 'mustache' profit being made. Anyway, stop it. {Full disclosure, like a billion years ago I provided fake mustaches for my friends Fiesta themed birthday party. If I somehow started this whole mess, I should be able to stop it right?}

See, these beautiful girls look stupid. If you have done this, its ok, it's not your fault (I take the blame) but if you haven't: don't.

Moving on...

The saying "Over the moon". I hate it. I really really hate it. I know, why not let others be happy? Well, I will tell you why not, I hate it for the same reason I hate you when you say "wicked" when you aren't from Boston and the word "uber" when you are not from Germany. You also aren't from the 1700's. (High diddle diddle). It sounds so forced.

Can I just say after just finishing typing those two things I literally just sighed out of relief. I had to say them, and this is the most public format I could think of.

Now, no one likes a complainer, so lets talk about things I really REALLY have been loving recently...

The New York Times seems to still be completely free online. They reported last year that would start subscription based online content starting in January 2011. Well, that is now and I haven't been charged. Yay.

I also really liked Christmas. Here are some pictures... which I am not in, because I suppose its because I was taking them.

Yes, I did his awesome hairstyle.

Those crazy-eyes are too much. I still can't stop laughing.

Too adorable.

P.S. It's January, and you know what that means? I turn thirty this month. Which, I am excited about. Stay tuned.

With the kind of money it cost to make these movies, I could have invaded a small country.

This would be a confession, but you probably already know... I watch made-for-TV movies, and I do because I love them. The only thing better is a Christmas themed made-for-TV movie. They are entertaining, they are heartwarming. They are so poorly acted they are funny, they are cute and they always tout messages of the Christmas spirit. If you seek after them, you will find them on ABC Family, Lifetime, and Hallmark channels.

Some people look to the classics; A White Christmas, Miracle on 34th, It's A Wonderful Life. And sure, they are good, but I offer you a virtual gift of movies with more. Without further ado, I present: THE MARY MERRY MOVIE MANUAL. Here are my favorites with my synopsis... (in no particular order)

Holiday Switch

The older sister from Charles in Charge, well she is rich and snobby and one day climbs inside her clothes dryer (duh) and comes out on the other side, where she has the life she always wondered about. But is it better or just different? Dun, dun, dun.

Snowglobe

Christina Milian shakes a snow globe, and then finds herself INSIDE IT. OMG. FREAK OUT. When she gets to the winter wonderland everyone is so nice, but fake. Its like the poor mans version of Stepford Wives, with out a plot, set inside a snowglobe, themed around Christmas.

12 Men of Christmas

Maybe the most plot of all. The girl who got famous on Broadway in the original Wicked, she moves from NYC to nowhere Montana to be a PR agent, hired to lure corporations to host their retreats in the town. The reason she left NYC is because her boss and fiance were fooling around at the company Christmas party and she caught them. Gasp. Well, don't worry, in Montana, she meets 13 hot search + rescue men who need money... so naturally, they make a nude calendar and magically everything works out. (What? Don't get mad at me spoiling this for you, it's not like you will watch it, and even if you do, you know how they will all end.)

Christmas Blessing

You know the song "Christmas Shoes" that comes on the radio and all of the sudden it gets a little dusty in the car. Yeah. Neil Patrick Harris is the adult of the child in the song. And if you know the song, you know how good this has to be. It's the sequel to the original movie, based off the song.

So, there you go. The best of the best. I have also watched *many* more this holiday season alone. I can endorse some, but none as much as the ones detailed above. Go ahead, brew some hot choco and have yourself a merry little Christmas movie night.

P.S. I also watch QVC, what's it to you.