Monday, June 29, 2009

Wonderwall

You wonder what I wonder about... so wonder no more:




The Post Office


Stephen Cobert brought this up the other day, and ever since he mentioned it, I can't stop thinking about it... you can have someone come to your house, pick up up a letter, trek it across the untied states and drop it off at someone elses house. Anywhere. This costs 44cents. That's right, they will come to you, pick up whatever from your house and deliver it in the middle of rural Wyoming. FOR FIFTY CENTS. This is crazy.







Eggs


Ok, I talk about and think about this almost every time I eat an egg, or see one... THINK ABOUT WHAT AN EGG IS. (About to get graphic here) But, ok, seriously, the chicken drops an egg from its reproductive organs, just like I do every month, and then I am supposed to eat this unfertilized egg. I can't stomach it. At this point, I still eat eggs, but I don't know for how much longer... I already stopped eating mammals for obvious reasons. Eggs are next.




[Note: No picture was included for this section because they all were even offensive to me.]



Paper


I have an exciting announcement to make: PAPER IS RENEWABLE! That's right folks, trees grow back, and guess who plants the most trees? Paper companies. Guess what else about trees: They give off vital oxygen and reduce carbon- they also help moderate ground temperatures. Using paper only perpetuates good wholesome American things like life and jobs. YAY!








That's all for now.




Friday, June 26, 2009

All Black

I decided to wear all black today to mourn with those who mourn... but really, just did it to mess with people so they would wonder about me.

(No white glove)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Battle of the Washingtons

When President Obama took office people were abuzz with the idea that "DC is the new Hollywood". Stars were showing up, Michelle became a star, and the parades started. Now it is raining on our parade. Literally. Whoever said DC is the new Hollywood got it wrong; DC is the new Seattle.

It's time to arm you with the facts...

Seattle, Washington Annual Precipitation: 37.1 inches
Washington, DC Annual Precipitation: 39.35 inches

Now it is time to alarm you with further facts... those are averages. This year is not average.

Average May Rainfall: 3.8 in
Actual May Rainfall: 6.1 in

Average June Rainfall: 3.1
Actual June Rainfall (thus far): 4.7

And it's raining right now. And there are still two weeks of the month left.

And, one more thing: average yearly rainfall in San Diego, CA: 10.2 inches.



Monday, June 15, 2009

NYC maybe in love with me


I am pretty sure that NYC has gone from just loving me to being in love with me...

Here are some lessons learned on my recent trip to NYC:

The play "August: Osage County" is good. Even if they tried to pass off Mrs. Husckstable as a white woman, everything else is perfect and thus you forgive the race bending. 

If you ever find yourself in a jewelry store that also offers a spicy Vietnamese sandwich in the back, take it. 

Gwyneth Paltrow gives good advice.

The World Science Fair is kinda boring. 

A park in East Harlem is not the same as Central Park. 

And finally, perhaps the most important lesson learned: All I need in life is peanut butter, my cell phone and The Good Word... All Chase needs is peanut butter & his cell phone. 


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Lucky Charms & Guinness



I am here to dispel all those myths and legends you have heard your whole life about Ireland. Starting with mythical things you were told by cereal companies as a child, all the way up to drinking tales told by beer companies as an adult.


I present to you rhetoric and photographic evidence of my findings...


MYTH: Dublin is fun/historic/a drinking town/the heartbeat of Ireland.

FACT: If Dublin fell into the murky east ocean of Ireland I would probably celebrate by hosting some exorbitant party. I would not serve potatoes. Dublin is not fun. Dublin is like the Philadelphia of Ireland, but without interesting historic landmarks. Having a relatively small urban city center, it boasts nothing more then a couple pints and some cheap tarts (both of the pie variety and the lady-folk). Sure, some of the filthy buildings were great to look at and Graffon Street does have some nice shopping, but so does the internet. Like right at this very moment you are on the internet & will get to see the same exact great Dublin buildings:

top to bottom: just a Bar, a Bank, a Shopping Mall, and a Church.



LEGEND: Leprechauns are real

FACT: This one is actually true.

hiking along and found what appears to be a leprechauns house. he wasn't home.


MYTH/LEGEND: Ireland is full of graceful green rolling hills and pristine country-side.

FACT: Also actually true... but, we need to have a short historic recap to get to the bottom of this (pun intended, read on). The wise men built their houses upon the rock; in Irelands case: limestone. There is actually an area called "The Burren" which one can only conclude comes from the latin bases "Burr" or "to bare" and "en" or "not". (I made that up, but I bet I am right). So the Burren is barren - it is miles and miles of limestone hills. Indentured servants moved all of the rock out of the surface layer to get to the bottom layer of the mountainsides so they could plant crops. Peoples entire existences were based around moving rocks from the ground and lining them up alongside the property lines. The results: graceful green rolling hills and pristine country-side.

a potato farm
county clare



MYTH: Ireland is haunted
FACT: I wish. I went to the two castles below, and even slept overnight in one of them. Neither were haunted. Perhaps they are haunted, but they just were respectful of me.


Spent my first Irish night in this Killkenny Castle: definitely not haunted.

Rock of Cashel: also not haunted

MYTH: The Fighting Irish concept

FACT: I have travelled the world and the ones I met are some of the most accommodating, friendliest, warm people I have come across.

a couple shots of adorable men who were lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy



MYTH: Mary Ann McMullen doesn't love Ireland

FACT: Let me tell you about the things in Ireland that are worthy of my love: The entire west coast. I loved it. Adventure is to be had there. I hiked to ancient ruins, I caved to underground waterfalls, I leaned over the Cliffs of Moher's sheer 700 ft. drops, I hung out at the World Ocean Race in-port festival, I took a cruise to the celtic Aran Islands, and I enjoyed every moment of it.

Inishmore Island

Cliffs of Moher

Galway Docks

World Ocean Race in Port

High Crosses of Tipperary

Dun Aengus

Waterfall Underground


Aillwee Caves & me having the time of my life in Ireland.